If you are on any type of social media, I can almost guarantee that you have, or will soon, come across posts about birth plans. Whether posts in favor or posts absolutely ripping them to shreds. And for many expectant parents, it leaves them wondering how to write a birth plan without doing it “wrong.”
If you haven’t seen these posts, you may be confused as to why people might not be in favor of birth plans. There’s this idea that birth plans are held in tightly gripped hands so nothing is negotiable, or flexible. They can appear rigid and inflexible. Oftentimes, the people that do hold tightly to their plans are the only ones who others remember.
I’ve shared before about how I think creating a birth plan is like planning a road trip. You have a destination, but may have a hundred different routes you could take to get you there. But, it is just that. Plans, by nature, have to be flexible because, well, gestures wildly around, LIFE. Life, and bringing it into the world specifically, is pretty damn unpredictable.
Life, and bringing it into the world specifically, is pretty damn unpredictable.
The birth plan itself is just a plan to get to your destination via your preferred route.
It would be amazing if there was something like apple maps or waze to plan your birth plan, right? Put your preferences in the settings, and look at a few options and pick your favorite? Imagine the simplicity! What a bummer that doesn’t exist. (Wait, should I make this?? )
You’re in luck, though. We can walk through how to make a birth plan together!
The Fundamentals of How to Write a Birth Plan:
- Start with a separate place to write notes and write down your top three to five goals and/or wishes. Rank them in order of importance before transcribing to your birth plan.
- Remember who your audience is. If you’re giving birth at the hospital, your audience is your medical providers and your support team. Your nurse, your midwife or OBGYN, and your partner, your doula. When considering your audience, you may also want to consider using common terminology, and a format for visual ease. (we’ll talk more about that later)
- Remember when your birth plan “starts”. Typically this would be when you arrive at your birthing location.
- Keep it to one page. No, seriously. Just one page. If your preferences cannot fit on one page, you may want to discuss some of the topics with your provider so you can reenter the birth planning process with a little more clarity. (Do, however, create a separate cesarean birth plan to keep in your bag to pull out if a cesarean becomes necessary or desired.)
- Start at the top. Put your name, your due date, your partner and/or doula’s name, your midwife/OBGYN’s name and your pediatrician’s name at the top of your birth plan so the staff can read that information with a quick glance.
- Consider the power of an opening paragraph. It can communicate your family’s philosophy on birth, as well as acknowledge the hospital staff’s priority of parent/baby safety. This can help communicate your “why” and not just your “what”.
- Break it down into sections. In our template that we share with clients, we break it down by stages of labor. Some might want to break it down into columns like “interventions, preferences, etc. The point of breaking it down into sections is to make it easier to read and understand at a quick glance. Bullet your wishes under each section. You may also want to include a short footnote on how you prefer information to be shared if plans change (for example: all options explained in the moment vs. a brief recommendation)
- Only include preferences that you are not in “control of.” For example, you don’t need to put “keep the lights down low” or “I want music” when you are writing your birth plan. You can usually turn the lights off and play your own music. You can absolutely ask that those things happen, but to help keep the birth plan short and concise, talk with your support team about helping with these things and keep the document relevant to its audience.
- Don’t forget about immediately after birth. I.e. Do you want skin-to-skin? (you may not even have to put this if your birthing location does this automatically.) This is also a good time to think through any immediate postpartum preferences you may have already decided on, including things like feeding support or plans for placenta encapsulation.
- Remember that your birth plan is a communication tool, not the only place your voice gets to live. Talk with your provider in prenatal appointments about what your goals are. More than once. Consider who will be the primary communicator if decisions need to be made about your needs. Talk with them, more than once, as well!
So, are birth plans a bad thing? Not at all. Everyone has a plan for birth, even if it’s just “get this baby out.” Writing yours down isn’t the issue. The problem is rarely the plan itself, it’s the expectation that birth should be predictable. If you’re wondering how to write a birth plan, focus on clarity over control. A good birth plan supports communication, is flexible, and helps your care team understand what matters most as birth evolves.
