Bringing a new little life home changes EVERYTHING about your life- your body, your brain, your home, and, especially, your relationships. Between sleepless nights, endless feedings, and the mental load of new parenthood, intimacy with your partner can feel like a distant memory. Maybe you’re exhausted, your body may not even feel like your own, and the thought of having sex after having a baby may seem completely overwhelming.
Intimacy after having a baby is, in a word, hard. (No “that’s what she said” jokes here, okay? ;)) Sure, some folks bounce right back into it. But it usually takes time to heal after having a human cut or pushed out of your body, plain and simple. But, if you find that you’re ready to navigate this uncharted, postpartum territory- congratulations, you’ve reached a new level of new parenthood we call “having sex after having a baby.”
I have to be honest, though, friends. Whether your baby is six weeks old, a toddler who thinks bedtime is optional, or you’re running a full-time taxi service for your older kids after school, making space for intimacy can feel almost impossible. Exhaustion, night wakings, grimy little hands always reaching for you, plus the never-ending to-do list, having sex after having a baby often falls to the bottom of the priority list. Reconnecting doesn’t have to mean diving straight back in. It can start with small moments of closeness, laughter, and, my personal favorite, music.
Music has this beautiful way of bringing us back to who we are at our core, individually and collectively. (Ever wonder why a collective music event is so memorable? It is super fascinating!) Music can hype us up for a big game, calm us down after something stressful, bring us back to a particular memory, (like the one I have every time I hear “Time After Time” because my sweet niece was born while that song was playing.) With the right playlist, music can turn a chaotic evening into something more chill, turn a mundane task into a core memory with our people, and remind you and your partner that you are both more than just co-parents.
With that in mind, we’ve put together a playlist designed specifically for this, um, “season” of “love”. It has songs that are soulful, sensual, and perfect for reconnecting, no matter how long it’s been.
Press play, and let’s get it on. (Which, by complete accident, is NOT a song on the playlist.)
If you’re looking for more insight on the ins and outs of sex after baby (see what I did there? Michael Scott would be proud), one of our doulas wrote a deep dive into resuming intimacy after birth. You can read that here.
