How to Handle Negative Feedback About Your Birth Plan
When you sit down to craft your birth plan, it’s a deeply personal moment. You’ve imagined this day for months, maybe even years. You’ve researched, discussed options with your partner, consulted your Rocket City Doulas doula team, and maybe even written out each step, feeling empowered and in control. Maybe you share your plan with a friend, and their response is…less than stellar. Maybe your friend expresses concern about your plans to go with out an epidural. Or your neighbor suggests that you’re taking the “easy way out” by planning a birth with pain medication. Maybe your mom had all natural births and doesn’t understand why you’d want an epidural. Maybe your best friend thinks home birth is a little too “out there” and suggests the hospital for peace of mind. Or perhaps the medical team offers alternative ideas.
Reality hits: not everyone is going to be 100% on board with your birth plan.
And guess what? That’s okay.
All of these opinions can make you second-guess yourself. But here’s the thing—no one knows what’s best for you, your baby, and your family better than you do. This is your body, your birth, and ultimately your choice.
It’s natural to want validation, especially from people you trust. Sometimes, others may have strong feelings because they care about your well-being, but that doesn’t mean they understand your needs in the same way you do. Nor do they necessarily understand everything going on, health wise, about your body and baby.
What’s important is that you feel heard and respected, whether that’s from family, friends, or your care team. (It is also okay to tell THEM that, as well! “I need to feel that you trust that I know what is best for my body and baby.) As doulas, we pass the microphone to you- so your voice is amplified at the center of the conversation—your desires should be honored as much as possible.
Your birth plan is exactly that—yours. It reflects your desires, your values, and your unique journey. You know what is best for you.
Sure, birth, like life, doesn’t always go as planned, and being open to shifts along the way can lead to a more positive experience. But, just because something doesn’t happen exactly as written doesn’t mean it’s a failure. If a detour comes up, remember to take a breath, consult your support team, and adjust as needed. You might feel some resistance, but that’s why we’re here. As doulas, our role is to support you in making informed decisions and feeling empowered—no matter what that birth looks like in the end. (We’ve seen a variety of birth experiences, from planned Cesarean births to water births, and every single one has been valid, powerful, and transformative.)
It’s okay if not everyone agrees with your choices. At the end of the day, what matters most is that you feel confident and supported in the decisions you make for yourself and your baby. And know that the Rocket City Doulas team is here to support you, no matter what path your birth journey takes. Your doula team can help you learn How to Handle Negative Feedback About Your Birth Plan.
